If you read a lot about sex online, you’ll come across the statistic that one-third of women cop to not having an orgasm with their partner. But we rarely hear about such problems with men. When we do, it’s the man not lasting long enough. Though less common, some guys rather than having premature ejaculation (PE) experience delayed ejaculation. This is when it takes a man entirely too long to have an orgasm. What’s too long? This is where things get tricky. How long sex should last is completely subjective and varies from person to person. But if it leaves his partner frustrated, worried or causes pain and discomfort, it is a problem. Some men have great difficulty achieving orgasm and this can be a problem too. One cause is over-masturbation. When a man gets used to a certain kind of pressure, technique or speed, he may be conditioned to only orgasm in that way. Also, the more stimulation the penis gets, the more it desensitizes it. Another aspect, the more times he’s ejaculated, the longer it will take for another orgasm to occur. If this is the case you should quit masturbation for one or two weeks and then try having sex again.
Do you watch too much porn? This may go hand in hand with masturbation. But some guys condition themselves into having an orgasm only to certain kinds of visual stimulation. If you fancy porn with threesomes, then only seeing a ménage-a-trios will do. Again, cease this activity for one or two weeks and see if that helps. Certain medications can affect sexual experience. Narcotics, antidepressants, antipsychotics, heart medication and others can interfere with hormones, blood flow and other related aspects within the body. A talk with the doctor and a change in prescription or dosage usually clears the problem up. Some guys have a few drinks to take the edge off before a night of passion. But if you overdo it, it can interfere with the whole process. An infection or other health problem may be at fault. Or it could be psychological stemming from anxiety, most likely performance anxiety. Find the root cause and you will discover how to undo the problem.