Society today portrays men as sex-mongering, lust-hungry fiends, who worry about nothing else but their next orgasm. And it is a shame because, in reality, most men worry about their careers, their financial security, and their family. Though, could there some truth to society’s portrayal of men?
Yes, there exist some concerns that revolve around sex and pleasure. But men are not consumed by the thought of their next orgasm. Instead, many men ponder over questions such as, “How can I make sure I please my partner while also enjoying myself? How do I know their actually pleased and not just fronting? How can I make sure that I never lose them?” So, while financial security is a concern to most men, so is emotional security—love is a mystery to us all.
Men fear no more! Let us discuss some fears that you can dismiss. First, we should start with saying that sex is not just kissing, stimulation, penetration, and ejaculation. But surely, you already know this. Intimacy, communication, emotional dependability—these fortify the bonds of a healthy relationship. And keeping it real, a stable relationship, means better sex. Yes, one-night stands can be fun, but sex with a loyal partner can fulfill your every dream. Who can say no to that?
Fear: Underwhelming Performance
When discussing satisfaction, the most substantial fear a man has is usually with his penis size. It may plague you to wonder if you will be able to please your partner adequately. That, however, is usually only the beginning of a series of questions: “Does my penis look good enough? Is it big enough? Can I hit all the right spots? Do I kiss well enough?” These doubts can bring feelings of imperfection not only as a person but also as a partner. Each one of these questions has a real answer, but the one you concoct in your head can directly affect your ego.
The Truth: Performance in bed primarily depends on your partner’s state of mind. What does that mean? If your partner is feeling sexy, loved, safe, secure, and, to a degree vulnerable, you have the power to rock their world. All you need to do is play with him/her. Tease them, send them playful messages.
Connect with them mentally and emotionally first; then you will have the advantage. Experiment with each other’s bodies and you can learn precisely what drives them wild. But of course, always communicate what you want to try, and what pleases you both. Be slow and steady, and understand that they chose you—they want no one else but, you.
Fear: Premature Ejaculation
As men, we like to do our best. And when it comes to pleasing our partners, the standard is even higher. So, yes, when we are not able to perform adequately, worries ensue. You may worry about how your partner will treat you—if they will even build resentment against you. You may feel embarrassed, shy away from sex and intimacy, and ultimately, you may give up. Sad to say, anxieties like these can even worsen the condition.
The Truth: Yes, a gratifying quickie is all about receiving pleasure. Most men need something quick every once in a while. So, if you only cum quickly every so often, then there is nothing to stress over. But if you feel that this may begin affecting your relationship, then stop and take a moment. You are not without options.
Technically, scientists do not agree on an exact definition for premature ejaculation; but most do agree that any sexual experience that progresses further than penetration, and lasts for more than two minutes is considered victorious. Even so, you may get riled up easily, or you may get overexcited too quickly. So, try spending more time on foreplay, please your partner first, or just forget about yourself altogether. Remember that what happens in porn, does not translate into reality. So, instead, build your own romance, sexy scenes, and foster intimacy. The sure-fire way to combat premature ejaculation is taking your time.
Even though it is unnecessary that every sexual rendezvous to be aimed at pregnancy, you may still wonder if you have the ability. Yes, the feeling is normal. Although most men do not want children—hence the use of condoms—most still want the ability to procreate. This anxiety of infertility can follow you all the way through having your last child.
The Truth: Being fertile is not a sign of masculinity. Yes, it used to be that if a man could have kids, then he was considered the most masculine. But today’s society is different. True masculinity lies in the way you treat your partner, the way you care for them, and what lengths you are willing to go to for them. Even then, there are many alternatives at your disposal, including adoption, in-vitro fertilization, or even something as simple as changing your boxers and making some lifestyle changes.
Do Not Give Up!
So what if society today portrays men as sex-mongering, lust-hungry fiends? People will think what they want to think, but their opinions are not fact. In reality, most men worry about their security, emotional well-being, the happiness of their partner, and their family! This article discussed three significant fears about sex that men may have, but the following article will discuss three more. All in all, each fear poses some threat to a man’s psyche, yet, each is also conquerable. So, do not give up easily.